Of Mirrors and Forgiveness

Larry Winget, in his DVD presentation, Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life says, "... the hardest thing you'll ever do in life is get up, look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'You know what, this is all my fault'... and it is!"

For a number of years I've been giving a presentation titled, "Dealing with Change" using Larry's DVD as the foundation for my talk. Lately I've personally been reflecting on his "mirror" statement.

What is it about blame that makes it an easy scapegoat for all the decisions in life? Why, as humans, do we find it so hard to "look in the mirror"? I'd much rather put the weight of my decisions and the painful consequences on to fate or circumstances or, if I'm really honest, someone else.

So, I "looked in the mirror" and made a couple decisions.

First, I need to acknowledge that all of the results, both good and bad, stem from the decisions I make. Second, rather than focus on all the negative, I need to focus on the positive. Here's the good news: There's a lot of really positive stuff - a tremendous amount to be thankful for. Lastly, I need to forgive myself. Yes, mistake have been made. They had consequences. They reside in the past. I can't change them. I made them. I must live with them. Unfortunately, many of the mistakes hurt others in my life. Fortunately, they have been able to forgive me (probably quicker than I've been able to forgive myself). Mistakes are not forgotten, however they can be forgiven.

InsightBYg:

• Look in the mirror. It all starts with you
• Focus on the good, not the bad.
• Mistakes live in the past. You cannot change them
• Forgive yourself
• Ask for forgiveness

Have you ever noticed, when you're making a decision, that your brain gives you a nanosecond of "what if" and then you make your decision? Cartoons portray this "what if" as either an angel or a devil sitting on your shoulder, whispering opinions in your ear. Learning to listen to that "still, small voice" of positive reason should help reduce the number of "all my fault" moments and increase the amount of positive stuff to be thankful for.